Amanamongmommies

Have you ever wondered if there was a sign meant to tell you something?  Have you seen that sign, ignored it or just plain missed it?  Today has been a few weeks in the making and it is and was “V-Day.”  Everything was planned out and of course you know what Spring brought today?  A whole lot of WET snow!  The snow was getting deep and we needed to head to my folks for babysitting so the wife could come with me.  So I would say a bunch of snow was the FIRST sign we ignored.  We get the boys all ready and pile in the van when I notice the van is leaning to one side. No, No, No… I get out and the front passenger side tire is DEAD FLAT!  We then have to make the jump to the wifes Mazda 5… So I would say that was the second sign we ignored today…  Wow I guess I just don’t know how to see the signs…

The Drive

The drive out was pretty bad.  With all the snow it took us a really long time to get to my folks.  We dropped off the boys and headed out to the Doctors office.  Cars were sliding every where and the roads were a complete mess.  We did make it to the office in plenty of time, but it was not a fun ride.  The return would be even worse…

The Wait

The Dr had assured me they would be on time and they even called me to set my time a little later because they were behind.  Well we get to the office 15 minutes early and end up waiting nearly an hour total in the office before I got sent back.  The snow was falling and as the aniexity increased I had fleeting thoughts of making a break for it.  Those thoughts quickly went away when the wife noticing my stress grabbed my hand… Well maybe she knew I was ready to make a break for it.  My plans to make a break for it were foiled by my alert wife.  Turns out with the weather and a patient taking a little longer to recover he was behind.

The Walk Back

The door opens and the nurse said I could come back now.  She was a relatively attractive young women with an accent I could not place.  She smiled at my wife and said I would do just fine.  At this she told her the worst part is just the shots.  Great!  As we walk to the room she directs me to take the wonderful paper blanket and get undressed waist down and she would be back.  Upon her return she reviewed with me some general care as well as explained the medications I would be getting afterwards.  Also said I would get a wonderful pair of underwear to wear home.  Nice mess shorts that I think look like fishnet panties for grandma.  She left and said the doctor would be in shortly.

The Procedure

So here I am sitting on the table in a T-Shirt and Socks sitting under a paper blanket wondering if I could escape.  As the minutes that seemed like an eternity went by I was hatching my escape plan.  Knock Knock… The Doctor came in and foiled my second escape plans.  Why is it that the Doctors Knock? Why do they leave when you take off your pants to come back in and look under the blanket?  The Doctor quickly reviewed the procedure and what the nurse said.  At this point any shyness I may have had is out the window.  Understand I met my wife in High School and since I met her the only thing done down there by strangers was a “Turn Your Head And Cough” hernia test.  So when the Doctor pulls back the sheet and begins scrubbing the under carriage with soap this was a rather new and odd experience.  Later the wife told me too bad it was not the nurse doing the scrubbing with a laugh. Well she would get her shot too…  After the scrub down he did some shaving work to clean up spots for the shots and of course the main cut.  Nothing like having a short older man shaving your privates to get that extra bonding going.  Knock Knock… The nurse comes in with me in the wind scrubbed and shaved in all my natural glory.  She helps prepare the shots to numb me and gets all the tools of torture ready.  As the procedure begins the nurse is on my left and the Doctor is on my right.  He says this is going to sting a little as he prepares to stick a needle that looked like it was 10 feet long into me.  The nurse said this would be the worst of it.  With that he slowly sticks the needle in and HOLY S**T that hurt!  I remained perfectly still fearing that if I even twitched something else would get nicked.  After a few moments the pain went away.  I had always thought my worst place for shots was on my mouth, but now there is a new spot hands down.  He then went to the other side and repeated the shot… This time I was prepared, but HOLY S**T that smarts!  After a few moments letting the numbness set in and hanging in the wind he began to make the tiny cut to pull the stuff out.  OUCH! he stops and is shocked I felt it… He said I must be rather sensitive to pain… Yeah especially when you are putting holes in my privates I thought!!! He waited a few more moments and then gave me a few more shots to make sure everything was numb.  At this point I begin to feel the numbness hit all over and the procedure continues.  With the numbness I lost ALL feeling in my privates and had no clue what was going on down there. While he is working on me the nurse is making sure I am out of the way, if you get my meaning.  At the same time they are chatting away about there evening plans and the snow.  They did include me in the conversations which I felt was rather courteous seeing as they are talking while he is cutting my privates and she is moving my manhood.  During the conversation I found out that she is from Israel and has been here a few years.  She came here with her mother and is married to a guy originally from West Virginia.  She said she really misses he old home and does not like the weather here.  So as he finishes up and cleans me up she is kind enough to put those really cool fishnet tiddy whities on me.  Afterwards he said I did really well and was surprised I was not more anxious.  I admitted to him I was actually a bit freaked out about the whole thing.  He said about 50% of his patients elect to take some meds for that prior to the procedure.  WHAT! What about me?  He said well if you take them you can’t drive… DO’H my wife was driving!  Oh well I missed out of some drugs… LOL  As I got up I was rather surprised at how light headed I was.  He said I could sit for a while, but I wanted to get out.  He asked if I had eaten recently and I had not due to the long journey in the snow and the extra hour before the procedure.  He said that the shots tend to make you a little light headed if you have not eaten.  As I stumble back down the hall my wife was waiting for me with the prescription and instructions from the nurse.  This was a good thing because for the moment I had a foggy head and no feeling between my legs…

Overall the procedure was not too bad.  Other then the fact that I had strangers playing with my stuff and using sharp objects it was fine.   Now as for the pain of the shots that was actually pretty bad.  I know I have a rather low tolerance for pain, but OMG!  It only lasted moments, but OUCH that smarts.  It is like getting the skin caught in a zipper, but worse.

Now as for the recovery that will be another post.  As I sit here and type I feel like someone kicked me in the crotch earlier today… Time for bed…