Amanamongmommies

This will be the first in a multi-part series delving into the mental and physical aspects of our decision.  Through these articles I hope to bring important issues to light as well has have some humor at my own expense.

V is for Vasectomy Part I

The Decision

The biggest and most difficult part is making the actual decision.  We have made the choice that we are now done having children for multiple reasons the most important is risk.  Getting older coupled with all the issues and complications we have had in the past has made this choice about a healthy future.

Vasectomy vs Tubal Ligation

When contemplating this decision the one thing I kept reading and hearing from many men was to encourage the wife to have a Tubal Ligation which is an invasive and major operation.  Our discussions included this and if the baby had to come via Cesarean Section that could have been handled then.  Well this was not the case so the best option would be for me to have a Vasectomy.  Less then 30 minutes and 100% within a week.

The Consult

After speaking to my Doctor I was referred to a Urologist that works with the practice and has office time at my Doctors office.  So I scheduled the consult not really knowing what this would be like and was I in for a surprise.  Upon arriving at the Doctors office I had to fill out a mountain of paper work for the new Doctor which included my rather colorful medical history. (I like to break stuff) I need this on a form on a thumb drive so I can stop writing this stuff out.  The office was rather busy and the wait was a bit longer then usual.  After a while I was brought back and had the vital stats taken as well as detailed family medical history. They took my blood pressure, weight, height and of course a urine sample.  I was surprised that my blood pressure was pretty good because of the anxiety of the situation.  I was then led to another room and told to take off all my lower clothes and wait with one of those really cool paper sheets covering me.  I have a new sympathy for my wife in all those OB appointments with the paper sheet, rubber gloves and gel. Now this is where it got interesting and long.  The minutes passed and the doctor had not come in yet.  2o minutes later I heard the Doctor and nurse discussing a patient and they were having this patient admitted to the hospital…  Moments later the doctor came in and apologized for this time, but he was dealing with what he referred to as an “extremely unusual” case and had to head to the hospital after our visit.  The doctor was nothing like I had pictured and he would probably fit well with the Adams family or a Halloween episode of ER. He was much shorter then me which is much of the population, had a Friar Tuck Hippie Hair cut.  The U went around his balding head like Friar Tuck, but with long Salt and Pepper hair going down to his shoulders.  He had direct yet pleasant personality.  Now at this point I was a bit frustrated about waiting as well as the reason for being there.  Despite researching the procedure and knowing full well that this was the best solution for our family it is a difficult thing.  We spend all our lives keeping sharp objects away from our stuff and now I am going to allow someone to cut the stuff up.

Questions and Answers 

During the consult the doctor reviewed my family medical history and then had a list of questions for me with regards to my “physical” health.  Most of the questions were straight forward and were all expected.  Of course the first question was “Do You Have Kids?” After that it was all about my functions and if I had ever had difficulties or had ever caught something.  All Clear…

The Description of the Procedure.

At this point the Doctor briefly talked about the procedure which no-scalpel and then began to show me what was going to be done, using me as the model.  Now understand the most demonstrating down there by someone other then my wife has been a hernia test.  What he was doing made a hernia test feel like a pleasant passing handshake.  He quickly found the vas deferns and had me identify them as well.  After the full explanation including showing me where the “Key Hole” incision was to be made he explained the other vasectomy procedures again using me as the model.

Two for One with an Option for a Third

After fully going over the procedure and juggling my junk for a while he also checked for a hernia.  He said having a hernia with this procedure would be undesirable.  With the Two for One handled he offered a Prostate exam as the Trifecta, this was a tempting offer but I passed since I just had a physical a couple months ago.

Final Review

After all the wonderful Stuff Shuffling we went over the procedure again and discussed the options he uses and why.  He went over in detail the procedure, recovery and care during recovery.  Overall the first three days will be the key and in less then a week everything will be good to go.  After 4 weeks and at least 8 “events” I would be required to bring in a sample to make sure there are now swimmers present.  Overall I was pleased with how long the doctor spent with me especially with the really long wait.  He spent more time talking about the procedure then the actual procedure will take.  He said I will be in and out of his office in 30 minutes or less… (I was wondering if he was going to give me a free pizza if it took longer)  The only thing left was to find the right day to have the procedure.  After talking about my At Home Dad gig he suggested I find a 3 day period where I would not have to be the primary caregiver since picking up the kids would be a mistake.  Descriptions of grapefruit and blood drains were burned into my brain.

Good Friday

Good Friday is V-Day here since the wife is off and I will be able to sit back with an ice pack and not have to be Dad the Jungle Gym, Lifter, Carrier, Jump up and Downer… This also works out well since the wife wants to come with for support as well as to drive me home.  Despite the Doctors assurances that I would be able to drive home the wife feels my lack of pain tolerance will be put to the test with a rather sensitive area…

Coming Soon…

Part II Mentally preparing for the Procedure.

Part III The Procedure (Good Friday)

Part IV The Day After

Part V The Final Review